Riddle me this. Why, when it is certainly the only self-respecting thing left to do to forget about someone who is deep in the past, do you keep thinking about them? When you want to retain any scrap of personal self-respect, an illusion of stoicism and coolness, and it only makes sense to you and everyone else in the world to not care any more, why does my heart continue to care?
It's some sort of super-human concern and hope that is like torture. If I could apply even half of this sentiment and resilience to deserving people my relationship would be amazing. Yet after months of not communicating, after taking all of the necessary steps to rid my life of reminders and memories, after busily moving along without much thought of the past, after blatant apathy and lack of concern, even the smallest memory brings me to my knees. It still hurts that they don't care about me and my distant life, that is now in no way connected to them.
Why is my heart seem so recalcitrant on caring for the one person it shouldn't? And how do I rid myself of it?
#letmegetonwithmylife#
I don't have an answer. But I just thought you should know you aren't alone. Always wishing you the best - Rachel
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