Anniversary Reminiscing: Our Wedding Day

Well, it's been a year. Today is our one year anniversary, and I have still yet to finish my wedding thank you cards, or document, in any valid format the significance and memories around this event. And although trying to catch up is always a bad idea, on this of all days, I want to take a few minutes to reminisce on that most significant day, and some important lessons I've learned.

Getting Ready and Keeping it Classy
Michael and I were married on a beautiful Saturday in the Mt. Timpanogas temple. I remember being nervous about whether the weather would be fall still- or if an early winter would claim our wedding day. But it turned out to be absolutely perfect. The temperatures were in the 60's, the fall leaves were still on the tree, and it seemed like the Lord reached out of heaven to bless the day just for us.

I got up early to go and get my hair and makeup done at the BYU salon, with my best friend Kim. Katie Anderson stayed with me the last night of my single life and when I got home provided vital help in the wedging and strapping me into my wedding dress. She helped me to try it on, to make sure everything looked ok, and then I slipped into another dress to wear to the temple and bagged up my wedding dress for after the ceremony.

My sweetheart came to pick me up at 11am. On the dot. Something about Michael- he's always on time, if not an hour early. Especially for important things. He was nervous. Our sealing wasn't until 1pm. But we were supposed to be an hour early, and I lived 30 minutes away in Provo. So we decided on 11am, just to be safe. I think if he had his way, it would have been 9am.

When we got to Plesant Grove (where the temple is) I suggested we had a few extra minutes and we might want to eat something because it would be a long day and we might not get any food. So we stopped at Macey's grocery store. This is probably one of my favorite memories of the day- both of us dressed to the nines, right before this most significant event of our lives, and we start out by going to Macey's to eat super classy food- I got an apple fritter and Michael got fried chicken. Just keeping it real folks. Although it turned out that both of us were a little too nervous to eat, so after about 5 minutes, we were back in the car and at the temple.

At the Temple
Once at the temple, things seemed to go really quickly- almost too quickly to absorb. His parents were already there, along with Wayne, Michael's brother, to serve as witnesses. Other family started to trickle in as well, but the temple workers were anxious to whisk us away and start working on paperwork. But TIME STOOD STILL when the temple worker at the recommend desk said Michael's recommend wasn't valid. Not valid?! Imagining nightmares of not being able to get into the temple on our wedding day, I explain that his bishop had just interviewed him for his live ordinance recommend a couple weeks ago. The ordinance worker explained that the bishop had neglected to activate the new recommend and had given Michael the wrong portion of the recommend.

Rather than thinking heavenly thoughts, I thought about how I could have killed his bishop (whom had previously also made a few mistakes that made our process a little difficult)! But apparently, sensing the distress, someone from the temple presidency stepped in, and apparently worked it out because it was only about 10 more seconds until they had whisked us both away into their office to verify our paperwork. Pfeww. Bless the temple workers who work so hard to provide a peaceful and shielded environment for couples on their wedding day. And bless the bishops, who volunteer their time do their best to care about the urgent circumstances of each of the 500 members of their congregation in their voluntary and spare time, who think their life event is more important than anything else on the planet (aka Bridezilla). I've since repented.

Before long, they had verified all of our paper work, and we got dressed in our temple clothes, and met in the lobby before the stairs to ascend to the celestial room. I could tell Michael was still nervous so I was looking forward to the serenity of the celestial room.

As they escorted us in and instructed us to wait, I felt a tremendous relief that he and I no longer had to worry about any more logistics. No more flowers, no more food, no more photographer, no more wedding colors, no more anything. We could just sit and enjoy the moment and meditate on the significance of what we were about to do. We were both overcome with feelings of gratitude and happiness at finally having arrived at this moment. I felt so much peace and confidence. I knew we were at the right place.

I also remember thinking, this is what faith is. We both have only known each other for a few months, and we are about to commit our lives to each other. This man hardly knew me, and I hardly knew him, and we were about to enter into an eternal covenant. That seems kind of crazy. But I only felt peace. Just a quiet confidence that I was starting a significant path, and the Lord would help us. While I didn't know everything about Michael, I knew that the Lord had led me to someone who would be a good fit for me, and that together- Michael, me and the Lord-  we would be able to work together through whatever obstacles would come.

The Moment
We were soon escorted into a sealing room where all of our most dear family and friends were waiting. It was an overwhelming sight to see so many faces full of love. I was overwhelmed by their love and support. I don't remember much about what the sealer said, but I do remember he talked about speaking to each other with the tongue of angles- being gentle with each other and treating each other like royalty.

I also remember that he told Michael that he was to serve me and give me whatever I wanted. I took opportunity to look at Michael and say, "You hear that?"- the sealer quickly added, "in righteousness", but it was pretty funny. I think many other profound things were said, but I don't remember them. Everything seemed a bit of a blur anyway. I wish I had asked somebody to take notes for me because most everything that was said seemed significant, but I can't remember it for my life.

But I do remember kneeling across the altar from Michael, with tears in my eyes, and giving myself to him as his wife, and he giving himself to me as his husband. And then it was done. In the quiet simplicity of the temple, with very little fanfare, one of the Lord's anointed servants sealed us together for all of eternity. We were married.

The aftermath
We hugged everyone as they left, and then were escorted back to the dressing rooms to put on our wedding clothes- Michael his tux and me my wedding dress. Kim was my escort and the one designated to help me in the dressing room. I tried to get my step-sister to come and help as well, but they were sticklers about that- only one other person in the dressing room!

Apparently it took me a long time to come out (it takes a minute to pour yourself into those kinds of dresses- can I get an amen?) because everyone commented on how long it took, and wondered whether I got lost. I met Michael in the lobby, we grabbed hands as husband and wife, and headed into the crowd.

After we left the temple, everything was a blur. Pictures at the temple for a couple hours with a wonderful photographer. We were late to our own wedding dinner- with about 200 of our close friends and family. There were cheers and advice and lots of good food. The reception started at 6pm, and it seemed that we stood in line to greet people most the night. Around 7:30pm we did dances, the bouquet toss and the cake cutting, and by 8 we were on our way out. It was a perfect day.

In the year that has followed there have been so many adventures and so many challenges. There have been 2 moves, 2 job changes, a purchase of a  home and all that goes with owning land on the frontier. We lived in 2 different cities when we were first married, and there were many times when Michael's job and my job would keep us apart for a significant amount of time. We have struggled through finances, through tough job decisions, and through infertility. We have struggled with our circumstances at times.  But we have never struggled with our decision.

I was almost 33 when I got married- and for me that felt like a long long long time to wait. When I was single, I had a wise friend once say that once I was married that all the pain and anguish of waiting, and hoping, and loneliness, and not wanting to keep making big life decisions every year and all by yourself- would disappear. I remember thinking that that couldn't possibly true- I had wanted to be married since I was 19. I had dated for over 16 years. I focused both my undergrad, grad school, and advocacy work on marriage and how important it was. I spent a lot of energy on significant relationships that would end, and then spend significant time healing and getting over them. I spent a lot of time pleading with the Lord to be married and supplicating him for the blessing of a spouse. I spent a lot of time learning to be happy in my own skin and possibly be content with the idea that I might not ever get married. I filled my life with adventures, friends, dating, jobs, and more exciting adventures, but always hoping to be able to start my own married life. In a word, my life revolved around desiring marriage. How could I forget about those years of waiting? I didn't think that it was possible.

But you know what. She was right. In almost an instant and soon after beginning to date Michael, it was as if all of that pain and anguish of the past began to disappear. It was as if the Lord had taken the burden a healed my heart. He took all of those broken things- all of the pleadings and longings and long-suffering and hope- and turned it into something beautiful. I think that's what the Atonement and mortality is about- experiencing the sorrow so we can feel the joy. It was worth every second of the sorrow to experience the joy. I wouldn't feel the joy I do today without the sorrow that brought me here.

I am so grateful for a wise Father in Heaven who knows that waiting for blessings always makes them sweeter. And so grateful for such a kind, tender, loving and strong husband.

Worth it.